Jay Sachetti joined Jeff O’Brien, partner at Husch Blackwell and Dyanne Ross-Hanson, president of Exit Planning Strategies talked about the market for mergers and acquisitions, exit planning opportunities for companies that don’t end up for sale and how companies can maximize their eventual sale price during an early October panel at the first Upsize on Tap event at Summit Brewing Co. in St. Paul.
When the state Legislature passed a law requiring employers to provide paid leave and safe time for employees, Justin Bieganek started hearing differing details from friends, colleagues and peers.
IT’S NOVEMBER. Time to get your strategic plan in place for 2003. You know the drill — goals, objectives, strategies, measurement tools, timeline and budget — all of which, in time, leads to the realization of your mission statement.
Although the process can feel like an annual pain in the neck, you wouldn’t dream of running your business without a plan to guide your team toward success. You wouldn’t even be taken seriously. But what if your mission is finding a mate? Suddenly, it seems, planning goes out the window. “It’ll happen,” you tell yourself, Òwhen the time is right.”
As a business person driven by the prospect of financial success, recognition, and contributing meaningfully to society, you know that to achieve you must plan. And that the manifestation of your vision will depend upon how clearly you envision it, and how well you can articulate it to others.
I am always amazed by the number of bright, accomplished professionals I meet whose confidence dissolves when it comes to the search for a mate. Almost everyone wants a relationship, but almost no one understands they have to plan for it. Instead they expend all kinds of energy complaining about how hard it is to meet someone, let alone sustain a relationship, as busy as they are.
The good news If that sounds like you, I’ve got good news.
The same talents, skills and processes you use in planning for success in business can be used to find and build successful personal relationships. You just have to get off the dime.
1. Stop procrastinating. Yes, I know you’re busy — aren’t we all? But trust me on this: There will never be a better time to seek a relationship partner than right now.
2. Start being honest with yourself. If you believe there’s no one out there who can match your wit and wisdom, not to mention your good looks, you’ve got an inflated ego. It’s odd that just about all of our clients — and we serve more than 1,500 women and men in three cities — tell us they can’t seem to find a “package deal” as good as what they’re offering. Can all of them be right?
By the same token, no one is looking for markdowns, so don’t hang yourself on the clearance rack. Focus on your strengths, not your flaws — just like you do when you’re pitching a big new account. Self-acceptance is sexier than self-deprecation.
3. Manage your expectations. Finding a mate will take time. Even if you join a service, it’s like hiring any consultant — you expect results, but you won’t get a final report at the first meeting.
4. Ask for help. You don’t try to run your business alone, so why attempt the monumental task of finding a life partner in a vacuum? Joining singles groups is OK, but once you’ve met everyone, do you really want to keep going to Nye’s with them? And surfing for matches on the Internet ranges from simply inefficient to downright dangerous. Instead, recruit family members and friends who know you best to make referrals, or consider outsourcing the job to a reputable matchmaking service. That’s not admitting defeat — it’s being resourceful.
5. Create your strategic plan. First, make a laundry list of qualities you’re looking for. If you’re over age 30 and have had some relationship experience, this should take about 10 minutes. “Must love spicy food. Earns six digits. Not allergic to cats. Grown children OK.” Whatever. Now choose your top three and toss the rest. You’ll find that someone who satisfies your top three requirements will fulfill most of the others anyway.
Accept criticism During the planning process, ask friends for input on your strengths and weaknesses, and accept constructive criticism bravely. If youÕve spent time as a corporate executive, think of it as just one more 360-degree evaluation or board review. Use this information to determine what you can contribute to a lifelong, committed relationship.
Work out strategies for making any critical improvements. If you want to attract a fashion model, fix your teeth and update your wardrobe. If you value steadfast loyalty, learn to curb your outbursts of temper.
Write a one-paragraph “product description” of yourself in the same upbeat tone that you would use in a business presentation. (You can bare your soul later. Right now you’re in the marketing phase.) Give it to your matchmaking service or “sales force” of friends, along with your top three list of qualities.
Finally, take stock of your resources. More time than money? You can say yes to everyone your dear Aunt Ethel recommends until you feel a second date coming on. Rattling around all alone in a great house? Have parties, not just for singles but for a mixed crowd including couples — they know people, too. (Stay sober if you want any referrals.) Tired of hanging out at bookstores, or just don’t want employees and co-workers to know that you’re “shopping”? A professional matchmaking service may be your best investment. Choose your resources carefully, and once you choose them, use them.
Your completed relationship development plan need not be formatted like your business plan, with a mission, goals and objectives, as long as you are clear about the top three Òmust haveÓ qualities and what you are willing to contribute.
But there’s power in declaring a timeline and setting up some benchmarks for progress. If you want a date for the holidays, you must mobilize your resources more quickly than if dating can wait until your youngest child goes off to college. (If you’re still reading this article, your timeline is more likely the former.)
6. Begin with the end in mind. Once you declare what you want — a love relationship — and work out a plan for getting there, enjoy the journey. Even on a bad date, change your attitude. Pretend you’re in a Seinfeld episode that you can laugh about later with friends. But give feedback to your referral source to help prevent mismatches in the future.
In your personal life, as in business, it takes planning to achieve the results you want.
[contact] Amy Rolando is founder and president of Table for Two, a professional matchmaking service with offices in Minneapolis, Rochester, Minnesota, and Denver: 612.677.1550; am*@*******r2.com; www.tablefor2.com.
